The question
by 18jringo
Summary: Luffy asks that dreaded question at lunch, and chaos ensues. How will the crew answer their captain's question? Or will they?
_One Piece is owned by Eiichiro Oda and his business partners._

 _Found a hilarious One Piece meme that made me think of an idea for a story._

 _Enjoy._

* * *

"Where do babies come from?"

When Luffy asked that question to his crew at lunch, they were in shock. They had known that Luffy was an idiot, but to not know about… _that_ , was unthinkable. Nami quickly took charge of the situation.

"Hold on a minute Luffy, would you? The rest of the guys and I have to talk about this."

"Okay, but… "

As he was kicked out the galley with his meat, Luffy had a confused expression on his face.

"Why did the guys look so panicked all of a sudden?"

…

…

…

"Well crap, what the crap do we _do_?!"

This was Sanji. The mere thought that any man Luffy's age didn't know about the wonders of… sex… filled him in despair for humanity's future.

Nami, being the commanding type that she is decided on their course of action.

"Somebody's going to have to teach him, otherwise he could… well, I don't what he could do if he didn't know about _it_ , but he would find something to get us into trouble by not knowing!"

Zoro was unconcerned.

"Why can't we just tell him the story of the stork or something?"

Two pairs of fists hit his head with a resounding *CLONK*.

"BECAUSE HE"S TOO MUCH OF AN IDIOT ALREADY!" Sanji and Nami shouted.

Usopp chose this moment to say something.

"Who's gonna tell him?"

The crew all pointed at someone else and said,

" **They are."**

Vivi sweatdropped.

"We'll take turns in case Luffy doesn't get it or something… We'll go in order of who joined the crew… "

* * *

 **Zoro's turn**

"... it's kind of like putting a sword in a sheath… except that the 'sheath' is a woman."

"You're going to stab a woman? How does that make babies? You must be stupid Zoro!"

* * *

 **Nami's turn**

"Alright Luffy, I'm going to tell you about how babies are made and I don't want any nonsense from you, got it?!"

"Huh? What are you babbling about?" *picks nose*

"ARRGGHHH! I should've known it was hopeless!" She stormed out of the room and kicked Zoro in the balls with her heels when she saw him snickering.

* * *

 **Usopp's turn**

Usopp had gone and dressed up as a high school professor for his speech.

"Okay Luffy, it's like this you see. You know how Sanji is with women right? Well you see, it's all part of his big plan to finally get laid and-"

A loud snore cut through his lecture. Apparently Luffy had lost interest early on and had fallen asleep.

* * *

 **Sanji's turn**

As Sanji was about to begin his long and rather detailed and kinky description of just how babies were made, Luffy's voice cut him off.

" **Oi Sanji, what the heck are ya doin' here?! Get back in the kitchen and make me food!"**

* * *

 **Chopper's turn**

"Well, er Luffy, it's like, um... "

Unfortunately at this moment, the poor reindeer had a flashback of Dr. Kureha's

'Birds and Bees' lesson. Her last words being that if he had a kid out of wedlock (or mating, seeing as he was both a reindeer and a human), she would castrate him and hang _them_ from the top spire of the castle. This little tidbit caused Chopper to do what he did then… Faint.

"Oi, Chopper! What's the matter?!"

* * *

The crew looked rather stumped, as each of them had failed. Vivi looked at them in sympathy. She had not tried, seeing as she _technically_ wasn't a Straw Hat.

"Don't worry everyone, you all tried your best."

An evil aura filled the air, for they all realized something at the same exact time.

There was still one person left on the ship who could tell Luffy!

Five pairs of eyes turned to Vivi with the light of evil in them.

Vivi looked to Carue for help, but the duck had by this point hid himself in the storage closet.

The Straw Hats picked up Vivi and shoved her in the room and pushed up against the door so she couldn't escape. Luffy would learn one way or another!

Vivi faced Luffy with a blush on her face. She was going to have to now explain to a boy, not to mention a friend, about the facts of life…

It didn't really help things that she had a slight crush on him either.

She was going to have to talk to a boy that she had a crush on about… sex. Doesn't get too much embarrassing than that.

She decided she might as well get it over with. She was admittedly curious about something though.

"Hey Luffy, why are you curious about babies all of the sudden?"

Luffy frowned as he tried to remember, and then grinned when he did.

"Shishishishi! When I was about 7 in my home village in East Blue, I remember walking home one evening. I saw Shanks and Makino hugging and kissing behind the bar where she worked and Shanks was talking about 'making babies together', so I wondered what he meant by that. I kind of forgot to ask him about it though."

By now, Vivi understood what these two were talking about, and her face resembled a tomato with how red she was. After 5 minutes, she got her blushing mostly under control. Though she couldn't quite get the image of cute mini Luffys running around with sky blue hair out of her head. Blasted teen hormones!

"Well, Luffy do you know what um… " She almost couldn't bring herself to say it. "S-sex is?"

"Oh yeah, the Red Hair Pirates talked about it sometimes, so I sorta get it. They always stopped when I got too interested though. But what does that have to do with making babies?"

"W-well you see Luffy…"

…

…

…

(One talk later)

" **SEX MAKES BABIES?!"**

Luffy had his head in his hands and was shouting at the top of his lungs. His face looked as though someone had told him that meat had just become extinct.

Vivi sweatdropped… again.

"Y-yes Luffy, it does."

Luffy burst out of the door and knocked down his crew who were still blocking Vivi from escaping. He then proceeded to run around the deck screaming at the top of his lungs.

Zoro turned to the crew.

"Yup, we definitely should have told him about the stork instead."

* * *

 __As it was, Luffy eventually recovered from his trauma and became his usual self. Years later, he became the Pirate King, married Vivi, and they both 'made babies' together, so you could say that it was actually a good experience for the both of them.

* * *

 _Hey folks, what did you think? Kind of a rushed ending, but I wanted it that way. Leave me a review to tell me what you think._

 _See ya' folks!_


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